The paragraph below changed my life! Now, if you have not read part 1 and 2 in my blog, please do. I am NOT saying that goals themselves are bad. It is just how you should approach them that can have life altering consequences. Please read the quote below, I will comment more at the end.
The Surprising Power of Atomic Habits, p. 26
Problem #3: Goals restrict your happiness. The implicit assumption behind any goal is this: “Once I reach my goal, then I’ll be happy.” The problem with a goals-first mentality is that you’re continually putting happiness off until the next milestone. I’ve slipped into this trap so many times I’ve lost count. For years, happiness was always something for my future self to enjoy. I promised myself that once I gained twenty pounds of muscle or after my business was featured in the New York Times, then I could finally relax. Furthermore, goals create an “either-or” conflict: either you achieve your goal and are successful or you fail and you are a disappointment. You mentally box yourself into a narrow version of happiness.
Excerpt From
Clear, James. “Atomic Habits.” Penguin Publishing Group, 2018-10-16. Apple Books.
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Another key idea that literally slapped me in the face! All these years I have been so ingrained be set goals, then work toward them, and then miss one for whatever reason and feel like I failed. Or better yet, once I actually began to accomplish them, found how fleeting that happiness was. It is NOT the goal in itself that is important, but the systems and processes you put in place to reach the goal. It is the journey right? Well, that depends on what “journey” means. I don’t think of the journey as some mystical path that I should strive to enjoy each step of, but I do believe that once you dig deep and define your systems and processes, and put them in place, then THAT journey is the one you should be paying attention to. And in the end…I bet you money your chances of reaching your goals dramatically increases. And the even better news? You get to ENJOY the road toward them!
Until Then – Train Hard!
Mike S.
2 thoughts on “Are Goals The Answer Part 3”
I’m 74. I now believe that the secret to happiness is to, “…lower my expectations (to a more realistic level)”
I think all goals should be pressure tested to find out if they are truly what we want (and are willing to work for) and realistic. I do not suggest people necessarily lower the bar, but simply be brutally honest with themselves. And if the goal fits those two things, then it is a worthy one. The real key is to then define the systems and processes that will allow it to become possible.